Friday, March 2, 2012

Three Days of Every Month of Every Year

Recently I had an experience that reminded me that I can be Positively Monsterous Sometimes--a real She-devil stirring accusations and complaints in a cauldron, concocting Potent Messages to Spew at unsuspecting subjects.  Picture a Monster Seething.  I become a Pitchy Mutation of mySelf.

I decided to do something about it.  Reminiscent of the "Serenity Prayer," I dropped to my knees and lobbed a plea heavenward.  It went something like this:
Dear Lord,
Grant me the ability to
hold my tongue,
unclench my teeth,
retract my eyes,
or possibly
avoid boiling over altogether
because I have a tendancy
to scald people standing too close.

What's that you say, Lord?
Asking too much, am I?
How about giving me family
and friends who are flame retardant,
a boss who recognizes the signs
of temperatures rising,
and a hubby who knows how
to turn off the heat and clean up the mess?

Yes, Lord, I think that is the best fix.
Let's go with Plan B--make everyone else
Immune.  Much better.  I like it.

Plan C, Lord?
Strike me with Premature Menopause Soon?
Mood swings, night sweats, constant irritability.
No, nevermind.  Kindly disregard this plea.
I'm up, off my knees, 
back to stirring the pot. 


Ora said...

Loved the PMS story.

Julee said...

Thoroughly enjoyed it. Keep stirring the pot, Tina.

Sue Cheatham said...

Yes, I agree that Plan B is best!