Sunday, January 12, 2014

On the Verge of Old

You may be on the verge of old if . . .

  • You trade in your purebred greyhounds for an elderly Maltese 
  • Ballet flats replace your stilettos
  • Elastic waist pants creep into your wardrobe
  • You gain poise by buying PoiseTM
  • AARP sends you increasingly demanding promotional offers insinuating that you should respond promptly because your expiration date may be sooner than the one on the coupon
  • You've gone from no eye glasses to six pair placed strategically about the house and car, but still require 60 minutes to find one
  • A pre-schooler refers to your undyed roots as "old hair" and is perplexed on your behalf
  • You think hash tag means chasing your brother around the front yard slinging meat and potatoes
  • You guess that Twitter is the comparative form of twit (twittest, being the superlative).
  • You are one of the thousands of Americans who asked their kids what "twerking" is, and why is Miley Cyrus doing it.

1 comment:

Teresa Storer said...

Well written, Ms. Tina! Enjoyed these observations immensely. Find some very "close to home".